I am trying something new to me. I am giving up my cable and Internet services at my apartment for the next three months. Throughout my recovery period following my latest surgery, I became acutely aware of how many hours of television I was watching and how much time I was spending on Facebook, playing FarmVille and Penguin Toss. I also realized that I had been doing this before all of my surgeries took place. I have continued to surf channels even when I couldn't seem to find anything I wanted to watch and then would end up watching re-runs of "Law and Order" that I have seen at least half a dozen times. It never occurred to me to turn off the TV and pick up a book to read. It never occurred to me to listen to music that I enjoy. It never occurred to me to pick up my crocheting or work on my writing. Immediately following my surgery, I made grandiose plans of all that I could accomplish while I was laid up. I was going to devote those six to eight weeks to writing, reading, and working on any of a number of craft projects that I have started but never finished. Well, none of that happened. The first two weeks were focused on managing my pain and resting, which was necessary and the most important thing to be doing at that time. As for the rest of the time, the issue was not my inability to do these things. It was a matter of laziness. It was so much easier to sit and push buttons on a remote than turn on a lamp and open one of my books. It would take too much effort to grab my yarn and pick up my crocheting hook. So, I continued to watch TV, sometimes up to 15 hours a day. Now that is insane! I felt lethargic and like my mind was turning to mush. I was suddenly painfully aware how much I have missed doing so many of the things that I love to do.
Part of my motivation to give up my cable and Internet was driven by my financial limitations as the medical bills from my four surgeries keep coming in. But the more I thought about it, I was feeling drawn to return to activities that I enjoy and that stimulate my mind. So far, I have "done without" for 1 week. And so far, it has not been difficult. I have found many, many things to occupy my time and have gotten more accomplished in this past week than I have in years. I am aware that I am in an initial stage of excitement and motivation for my newest adventure. And I'm not totally giving everything electronic up and being completely unplugged. I am going to make use of the computers and Internet at the library. It is my hope that by spending less time on the Internet at home, I will be more focused and use my time more productively, focusing on my writing and researching rather than playing FarmVille. I will go to the computer when I feel a desire to do something meaningful to me. And I will continue to check DVDs out from the library, choosing more carefully what I would like to see. I know that there will be a few television programs that I will miss, like "Modern Family" and "The Closer". But now that programs are available on DVD and online, I know that I will not have to worry about missing out on anything because I can always check them out later if I choose to. I am also choosing to read again. I have always loved reading but have not done much of it over the past several years. That hasn't stopped me from purchasing new books that I think I'd like to read sometime. I now have managed to collect over 600 books, none of which I have read. I dust them off every few weeks and scan the shelves trying to decide what to read first, and then I walk away and plop down in my recliner and turn on the TV. If I were to read one book a week, it would take me a little over 12 years to finish them all. That just blows my mind!
So, after some thought on the matter, I decided that I want to at least try to get back to doing things that are meaningful rather than mindless. I have already read two books this week and have found that the time has flown by much more quickly than it ever has when watching "Toddlers and Tiaras". I'm sure that there will be times when I will feel like watching mindless TV for an hour or two and I may even regret my decision to cancel my cable, especially when football season starts. But in the long run, I believe that I will have a greater sense of fulfillment and accomplishment by doing rather than observing and that the time I do choose to spend watching a DVD or working on the computer will be more satisfying because I will have made a deliberate, thoughtful choice for how to spend that time.
Wish me luck with my "experiment"! I am anxious to see where it leads me!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Mustard Seeds
I was flipping channels a couple of hours ago, looking for something to watch to help me pass time since I couldn't seem to be able to fall asleep. I stumbled upon a documentary titled "Serving Life" on OWN. Narrated by Forrest Whitaker, this two hour program featured inmates serving life sentences at the Louisiana State Penitentiary who were part of a hospice volunteer program, caring for inmates who are facing the end of their lives and dealing with terminal illnesses. This program was started in the mid 1990's by warden Burl Cain and gives selected inmates the opportunity to do something for another and to reach outside of themselves in the spirit of compassion. Most of the inmates are serving sentences for violent offenses - murder, rape, drug related crimes, armed robbery...I was deeply moved by their stories of how these experiences in the hospice care program have changed their lives and their hearts.
People who know me best know that I have had very rigid, strong opinions about the criminal justice system, what the "appropriate" sentences should be for particular crimes, and about the death penalty. Suffice it to say that I have had very little compassion for those who commit such crimes. I have tried to keep my ideas in my "head", and look at things "logically" and according to what I believed would be the most "cost effective" ways of dealing with "hardened criminals". I have refused to look within my heart and see these individuals as human beings. After all, how could anyone, any human being, do to another human being the things that many of these individuals have done? I believe that some of my rage, and if I am going to be honest, hatred, for perpetrators of violent crimes comes from my own personal experience of being raped at the age of 18. My heart most definitely became "hardened" in the days, weeks, months, and years following that experience.
Most of the TV shows that I have seen over the years, such as "Lockup" on MS NBC, focus on the violence of the crimes committed by the inmates and their continued violent behavior within the prison system. This documentary was the first that I have seen that focused on those prisoners who were trying to make a change in their lives for the good, even though they will never be released from behind prison walls. I watched in a state of disbelief at how those inmates who were a part of this rather innovative program treated fellow inmates with such love and compassion. It opened my eyes to the realization that no matter what a person has done, no one wants to be forgotten and no one wants to feel that they are not cared for. No one wants to die alone. I found myself thinking that even the worst of the worst of us has a tiny mustard seed of good inside of them. I have come to believe that no one is purely evil, lacking any capacity whatsoever to love another. This by no means finds me in a position of saying that what some of these men and women have done should be excused or dismissed. I do not believe that anyone has a "right" to act in terrible ways because that was how they have been treated. I still firmly believe that we should be held accountable for our actions and should have to face the consequences for what we have done. However, I am reaching a place in my heart where I realize that in the end, God will judge our actions and that God's forgiveness is available to everyone, whether I like it or not. It has taken me about 20 years to reach the place where I no longer harbor deep resentment and anger toward the individual who assaulted me back in September of 1988.
I still waver back and forth over what I believe our justice system should do with violent offenders. I see stories on the evening news which horrify me and I'm outraged. I struggle with my faith, wondering how a loving, caring God could allow these things to happen. But even though I may still be tempted to believe that in some circumstances, an individual should pay the ultimate price for their crimes and be sentenced and put to death, I keep coming back to the idea that "two wrongs don't make a right". I struggle with believing that God has a reason for everything that happens and that murders, rapes, etc. are a part of God's plan. I do not believe that God plans for any of us to do such things. I do believe however, that God has the power to change people for the good and although none of us can "undo" our past actions, we can choose to learn from them. We can choose to not repeat those behaviors. We can choose to reach out to others in need. We can choose to feel compassion. I try to make sense of it all and I can't. What I can do is hold on to the hope that within every human being is a tiny mustard seed of love and that in the end, love will prevail. Hatred has never given me a sense of peace and serenity. Love does each and every time.
People who know me best know that I have had very rigid, strong opinions about the criminal justice system, what the "appropriate" sentences should be for particular crimes, and about the death penalty. Suffice it to say that I have had very little compassion for those who commit such crimes. I have tried to keep my ideas in my "head", and look at things "logically" and according to what I believed would be the most "cost effective" ways of dealing with "hardened criminals". I have refused to look within my heart and see these individuals as human beings. After all, how could anyone, any human being, do to another human being the things that many of these individuals have done? I believe that some of my rage, and if I am going to be honest, hatred, for perpetrators of violent crimes comes from my own personal experience of being raped at the age of 18. My heart most definitely became "hardened" in the days, weeks, months, and years following that experience.
Most of the TV shows that I have seen over the years, such as "Lockup" on MS NBC, focus on the violence of the crimes committed by the inmates and their continued violent behavior within the prison system. This documentary was the first that I have seen that focused on those prisoners who were trying to make a change in their lives for the good, even though they will never be released from behind prison walls. I watched in a state of disbelief at how those inmates who were a part of this rather innovative program treated fellow inmates with such love and compassion. It opened my eyes to the realization that no matter what a person has done, no one wants to be forgotten and no one wants to feel that they are not cared for. No one wants to die alone. I found myself thinking that even the worst of the worst of us has a tiny mustard seed of good inside of them. I have come to believe that no one is purely evil, lacking any capacity whatsoever to love another. This by no means finds me in a position of saying that what some of these men and women have done should be excused or dismissed. I do not believe that anyone has a "right" to act in terrible ways because that was how they have been treated. I still firmly believe that we should be held accountable for our actions and should have to face the consequences for what we have done. However, I am reaching a place in my heart where I realize that in the end, God will judge our actions and that God's forgiveness is available to everyone, whether I like it or not. It has taken me about 20 years to reach the place where I no longer harbor deep resentment and anger toward the individual who assaulted me back in September of 1988.
I still waver back and forth over what I believe our justice system should do with violent offenders. I see stories on the evening news which horrify me and I'm outraged. I struggle with my faith, wondering how a loving, caring God could allow these things to happen. But even though I may still be tempted to believe that in some circumstances, an individual should pay the ultimate price for their crimes and be sentenced and put to death, I keep coming back to the idea that "two wrongs don't make a right". I struggle with believing that God has a reason for everything that happens and that murders, rapes, etc. are a part of God's plan. I do not believe that God plans for any of us to do such things. I do believe however, that God has the power to change people for the good and although none of us can "undo" our past actions, we can choose to learn from them. We can choose to not repeat those behaviors. We can choose to reach out to others in need. We can choose to feel compassion. I try to make sense of it all and I can't. What I can do is hold on to the hope that within every human being is a tiny mustard seed of love and that in the end, love will prevail. Hatred has never given me a sense of peace and serenity. Love does each and every time.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Name That Tune # 1
I have found myself listening to the music on my iPod more often now, perhaps because I can't seem to find much to entertain me on TV. I was having a discussion with a good friend about what type of music I have downloaded and what it says about my personality. It was an interesting conversation. Afterwards, I spent a little time scrolling down through my music and noticed that I have a little bit of everything. Well, most everything. Each song that I have was chosen because something about it speaks to me. For the most part, I am drawn to the story behind the lyrics. Other songs were chosen simply for no other reason than I like the beat. Quite often, a line or two will stick out and cause me to think about something in perhaps a new way, moving in an entirely different direction from the story being told.
My thinking will often take off in it's own direction and every time I listen to a song, I think of something new. So, that being said, I'm going to share what sticks out at me when I hear one of my favorites. It may make sense and relate to the story the artist is conveying. It may not. I might stray far from the intended message, pulling a line out of the song, out of context, and assigning a whole other meaning to it. But I think that's OK because it stimulates my thinking and sometimes opens my eyes to new ideas, much like the way "free association" works. So, a line from the first song from my alphabetical listing on my iPod:
"Why can't you see me through his eyes?" And my thoughts...
More often than not, we are judged, and we judge others, according to all that we are not, to what qualities we are lacking. We compare ourselves to others and see all of the ways we don't "measure up" to everyone else. I believe that the world would be a much better place if we looked toward all that we are and what we have to offer to each other. We all have something to contribute to society. We are all capable of doing "good". I like to think that this is how God sees me. He is not keeping a tally of all of my "faults" and "flaws". I don't even believe that He is keeping a running list of all of my sins. He is not asking me to be just like you and He is not asking you to be just like me. He is asking me to be my best and to do my best with what I have. So, I am choosing to see others the way I believe God sees others and to work toward what can be accomplished if we all work together, lending our talents and ideas and efforts to make this world a better place for all of us. Imagine the possibilities if we all were to strive to see each other through His eyes...
Can you name that tune? It is "According to You" by Orianthi, album "Believe" (bonus track version).
Until next time...
My thinking will often take off in it's own direction and every time I listen to a song, I think of something new. So, that being said, I'm going to share what sticks out at me when I hear one of my favorites. It may make sense and relate to the story the artist is conveying. It may not. I might stray far from the intended message, pulling a line out of the song, out of context, and assigning a whole other meaning to it. But I think that's OK because it stimulates my thinking and sometimes opens my eyes to new ideas, much like the way "free association" works. So, a line from the first song from my alphabetical listing on my iPod:
"Why can't you see me through his eyes?" And my thoughts...
More often than not, we are judged, and we judge others, according to all that we are not, to what qualities we are lacking. We compare ourselves to others and see all of the ways we don't "measure up" to everyone else. I believe that the world would be a much better place if we looked toward all that we are and what we have to offer to each other. We all have something to contribute to society. We are all capable of doing "good". I like to think that this is how God sees me. He is not keeping a tally of all of my "faults" and "flaws". I don't even believe that He is keeping a running list of all of my sins. He is not asking me to be just like you and He is not asking you to be just like me. He is asking me to be my best and to do my best with what I have. So, I am choosing to see others the way I believe God sees others and to work toward what can be accomplished if we all work together, lending our talents and ideas and efforts to make this world a better place for all of us. Imagine the possibilities if we all were to strive to see each other through His eyes...
Can you name that tune? It is "According to You" by Orianthi, album "Believe" (bonus track version).
Until next time...
Sunday, July 31, 2011
I Have Rules!
I was pretty young, maybe 3 or 4 years old, when I started to understand that life has "rules" to live by. There were rules at home. Clean your plate. Close your eyes, bow your head, and clasp your hands when you pray. Pick up your toys. Don't hit your brothers or sister. Definitely don't put your little brother in your doll highchair and force feed him blue play dough!
I'm not really sure why, but I began making up my own rules to live by. I started by dumping all of my crayons out of the box and then rearranging them according to the colors of the rainbow. Black, white, grey, and brown went in last. And each crayon had to be turned so that the black oval and the word Crayola faced the front of the box. Once I wore out the tips on the crayons, I threw out the whole box and got more. I refused to use the sharpener on the back of the box. I refused to share my crayons because I didn't want anyone messing up my order. I also began arranging my M&Ms before eating them. I carefully examined the "M"s on the front to identify the most perfect ones. I then sorted them into color groups and ranked the groups according to my "M&M Perfection Plan". It would take me about an hour to get ready to eat a small bag of M&Ms. Over the years, I continued adding to my rules. Now, at the age of 41, I know that most, if not all, of my rules do not make sense. And yet, I won't let go of them. My five year old nephew knows my rules. His younger brother will start to do something or touch something of mine and his brother will stop him, pointing out that that is just one of "Aunt Kris's rules". He doesn't know why I have the rules. He knows that others don't have those rules. But bless his heart, he honors my rules.
Lately, when I hear him talking about my "rules", I feel sad. It is a reminder that I do things differently and that I do not deal with change well. I've been reflecting on the impact my rules have on my life. I cannot even begin to estimate the number of hours I've spent alphabetizing, rearranging, ordering, lining things up...No matter how I do this, I struggle with being able to walk away, worrying that there might be a better way of organizing things than what I had settled on. So, I ruminate and obsess and try to think of a more perfect way to categorize my possessions. It is never ending and time consuming. It is tiresome. It is not what I want to spend the majority of my days doing.
Some of these issues can be attributed to some strong OCD tendencies. Recent life events, taken place over the past two to three years, have opened my eyes to new possibilities and new ways of looking at things. I am beginning to be able to identify what it is that is really important to me and what is holding me back. So, I have slowly been chipping away at some of my rules. My colored pencils and oil pastels are just put in their boxes in no particular order. Some are even broken. And I'm OK. The world has not fallen apart. I can now eat a meal in a restaurant, even if the food is not arranged in the "right" way on the plate. I'm beginning to loosen up on having everything I own alphabetized and categorized. I can even eat a package of M&Ms without grouping them!
I am finally accepting that for many things, there are many ways to go about getting the same results. I am reminded of 10th grade geometry. It was one of my favorite subjects. I spent a lot of time on homework, which consisted mostly of "proofs". Even there, there is more than one way to reach the end, proving the theorem. Sure, there is always the "right" way, the most direct, logical way of getting to the answer. But you can also get there following an alternate pathway. Even if your route is more circuitous, you still arrive at the endpoint. I don't know why that came to me the other day. But it served as a reminder to be open to being much more flexible. The more flexible I can be, the more open I am to all of the possibilities life has to offer. There are some rules that should be followed, that are the right thing to do (i.e. should not kill another). But life can be so much more enjoyable when I just go with the flow and let what's going to happen, happen. The real challenge is in learning how to adapt to the situations as they come to me. Life is definitely more interesting and less rigid that way. And I have so much more free time to enjoy what I am doing each day. I'm going to continue working on "letting go" of the rules that are holding me back and aiming for flexibility in my day to day pursuits. I still have to follow society's rules, but I'm pretty sure that I won't be hauled off to jail if I stop arranging my M&Ms.
I'm not really sure why, but I began making up my own rules to live by. I started by dumping all of my crayons out of the box and then rearranging them according to the colors of the rainbow. Black, white, grey, and brown went in last. And each crayon had to be turned so that the black oval and the word Crayola faced the front of the box. Once I wore out the tips on the crayons, I threw out the whole box and got more. I refused to use the sharpener on the back of the box. I refused to share my crayons because I didn't want anyone messing up my order. I also began arranging my M&Ms before eating them. I carefully examined the "M"s on the front to identify the most perfect ones. I then sorted them into color groups and ranked the groups according to my "M&M Perfection Plan". It would take me about an hour to get ready to eat a small bag of M&Ms. Over the years, I continued adding to my rules. Now, at the age of 41, I know that most, if not all, of my rules do not make sense. And yet, I won't let go of them. My five year old nephew knows my rules. His younger brother will start to do something or touch something of mine and his brother will stop him, pointing out that that is just one of "Aunt Kris's rules". He doesn't know why I have the rules. He knows that others don't have those rules. But bless his heart, he honors my rules.
Lately, when I hear him talking about my "rules", I feel sad. It is a reminder that I do things differently and that I do not deal with change well. I've been reflecting on the impact my rules have on my life. I cannot even begin to estimate the number of hours I've spent alphabetizing, rearranging, ordering, lining things up...No matter how I do this, I struggle with being able to walk away, worrying that there might be a better way of organizing things than what I had settled on. So, I ruminate and obsess and try to think of a more perfect way to categorize my possessions. It is never ending and time consuming. It is tiresome. It is not what I want to spend the majority of my days doing.
Some of these issues can be attributed to some strong OCD tendencies. Recent life events, taken place over the past two to three years, have opened my eyes to new possibilities and new ways of looking at things. I am beginning to be able to identify what it is that is really important to me and what is holding me back. So, I have slowly been chipping away at some of my rules. My colored pencils and oil pastels are just put in their boxes in no particular order. Some are even broken. And I'm OK. The world has not fallen apart. I can now eat a meal in a restaurant, even if the food is not arranged in the "right" way on the plate. I'm beginning to loosen up on having everything I own alphabetized and categorized. I can even eat a package of M&Ms without grouping them!
I am finally accepting that for many things, there are many ways to go about getting the same results. I am reminded of 10th grade geometry. It was one of my favorite subjects. I spent a lot of time on homework, which consisted mostly of "proofs". Even there, there is more than one way to reach the end, proving the theorem. Sure, there is always the "right" way, the most direct, logical way of getting to the answer. But you can also get there following an alternate pathway. Even if your route is more circuitous, you still arrive at the endpoint. I don't know why that came to me the other day. But it served as a reminder to be open to being much more flexible. The more flexible I can be, the more open I am to all of the possibilities life has to offer. There are some rules that should be followed, that are the right thing to do (i.e. should not kill another). But life can be so much more enjoyable when I just go with the flow and let what's going to happen, happen. The real challenge is in learning how to adapt to the situations as they come to me. Life is definitely more interesting and less rigid that way. And I have so much more free time to enjoy what I am doing each day. I'm going to continue working on "letting go" of the rules that are holding me back and aiming for flexibility in my day to day pursuits. I still have to follow society's rules, but I'm pretty sure that I won't be hauled off to jail if I stop arranging my M&Ms.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Infomercial anyone?
Well, here I am in the wee hours of the morning, after being up all night. Actually, I've been up for two nights in a row. Most of the time, when this happens I find my mind racing so fast, jumping and skipping from one idea to another before I can even process what I am thinking about. Sometimes I sit up at the edge of my bed and jot down a few key words or phrases to come back to and explore later on. Other times, I start writing frantically, trying to capture what I'm wanting to say. That can be frustrating at times because my mind spins at the speed of light while my hand, well, doesn't. And the faster I try to write, the faster my hand cramps up. Perhaps one day, I'll make the transition to the laptop and skip the "old school" method of scribbling on a legal pad, drawing arrows in red ink to mark what sentences I want to move to another spot. But maybe not just yet. I've managed to amass a huge quantity of legal pads, and not the "cheap" ones, and more pens than I can count. There's something about all of the back-to-school sales that sucks me in at the beginning of the school year. I finished my master's degree in 1995 but I still buy the stuff, just in case....Did you know that WalMart sells boxes of 24 Crayola crayons for $0.25 each? I haven't used crayons in what, over 25 years now? But I am still convinced that one day I will need them. All 50 boxes of them. That's the limit WalMart will allow you to buy. It may be a little obvious by now that I have some "issues" and struggle with some OCD symptoms. I try not to go to WalMart from mid-July until the end of August. I am slowly managing to decrease my inventory and donate a lot of the school supplies I have accumulated to local charities and group homes for children. Progress not perfection!
Since I have decided to start this blog, I've spent quite a bit of time pondering possibilities and thinking about what I would want to write about. (Perhaps that has contributed to my insomnia?!) Do I want to stick with a specific topic? Do I want to make an entry every day? I have jotted down a dozen or so ideas of subjects to reflect upon and they go in many different directions. So for now, I'm just going to write when I feel inspired to do so and to write about where my spirit is leading me.
Now, to try to make the connection between what I am writing and the title of this particular entry. Fellow night owls can attest to the fact that TV choices are pretty slim pickings in the middle of the night. Take for example this evening. TLC was running episodes of LA Ink all night. They were only showing three episodes. After the third, they'd go back to the first and repeat them all again. VH1 was following suit, running episodes of Celebrity Rehab. Most other channels are running "paid advertisements", enticing me to purchase things I didn't even know I needed! Those product hosts are good. By the end of the 30 minutes, I'm convinced that I really do need what they are selling. I pull my bank account up online to see how much money I have and try to figure out if I could get the new gadgets and still have money left over to buy cat food for Tiptoe and Fuzzy. This is one of the reasons that I do not have credit cards. I do have a debit card but simply knowing that if I use it, the money will come out of my account immediately, is usually enough to stop me.
I will close with a poem that I wrote back on September 24, 2010:
Untitled XII
Do you ever wonder if
the memories you have
chosen to carry from
the very first time you
could even remember
into today are real?
Or are they exaggerated,
distorted events
assembled according to
the directions on
the back of the box
of that kit
no one can live without,
that you ordered
off of channel 12
for $19.95 and free S & H
that first night
that you couldn't fall asleep?
Future entries will be a little more succinct!
Going to try to catch some zzzzz's now that the sun is starting to rise.
Since I have decided to start this blog, I've spent quite a bit of time pondering possibilities and thinking about what I would want to write about. (Perhaps that has contributed to my insomnia?!) Do I want to stick with a specific topic? Do I want to make an entry every day? I have jotted down a dozen or so ideas of subjects to reflect upon and they go in many different directions. So for now, I'm just going to write when I feel inspired to do so and to write about where my spirit is leading me.
Now, to try to make the connection between what I am writing and the title of this particular entry. Fellow night owls can attest to the fact that TV choices are pretty slim pickings in the middle of the night. Take for example this evening. TLC was running episodes of LA Ink all night. They were only showing three episodes. After the third, they'd go back to the first and repeat them all again. VH1 was following suit, running episodes of Celebrity Rehab. Most other channels are running "paid advertisements", enticing me to purchase things I didn't even know I needed! Those product hosts are good. By the end of the 30 minutes, I'm convinced that I really do need what they are selling. I pull my bank account up online to see how much money I have and try to figure out if I could get the new gadgets and still have money left over to buy cat food for Tiptoe and Fuzzy. This is one of the reasons that I do not have credit cards. I do have a debit card but simply knowing that if I use it, the money will come out of my account immediately, is usually enough to stop me.
I will close with a poem that I wrote back on September 24, 2010:
Untitled XII
Do you ever wonder if
the memories you have
chosen to carry from
the very first time you
could even remember
into today are real?
Or are they exaggerated,
distorted events
assembled according to
the directions on
the back of the box
of that kit
no one can live without,
that you ordered
off of channel 12
for $19.95 and free S & H
that first night
that you couldn't fall asleep?
Future entries will be a little more succinct!
Going to try to catch some zzzzz's now that the sun is starting to rise.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
So You Think You Have Something To Share
Well, here I am, creating my blog site. I must admit that my knowledge of computers, well any technology for that matter, is quite limited. Ok, severely limited. But I'm willing to learn.
I have thought about creating a blog for some time now but was't really even sure what a "blog" was. I now have a number of friends who are bloggers and I enjoy reading their postings. More often than not, they leave me with something to think about, laugh about, even cry about. I am not proclaiming to have any sort of "mission" behind my blog. I don't promise to stimulate your intellect, your sense of humor, or your emotions. I simply wish to share some of my life experiences, my struggles, and my triumphs.
I have always been a "night owl". For whatever reason, my mind seems to start spinning into some sort of, what I like to call, a "story telling" mode. It's alot like having a conversation with someone who is not actually present and listening. Please don't confuse this for the experience of hearing voices in my head (although I have on a couple occassions had this experience as well!) So, that being said, I start out on this new journey of self expression, not knowing where it will lead me. Let the fun begin!
I have thought about creating a blog for some time now but was't really even sure what a "blog" was. I now have a number of friends who are bloggers and I enjoy reading their postings. More often than not, they leave me with something to think about, laugh about, even cry about. I am not proclaiming to have any sort of "mission" behind my blog. I don't promise to stimulate your intellect, your sense of humor, or your emotions. I simply wish to share some of my life experiences, my struggles, and my triumphs.
I have always been a "night owl". For whatever reason, my mind seems to start spinning into some sort of, what I like to call, a "story telling" mode. It's alot like having a conversation with someone who is not actually present and listening. Please don't confuse this for the experience of hearing voices in my head (although I have on a couple occassions had this experience as well!) So, that being said, I start out on this new journey of self expression, not knowing where it will lead me. Let the fun begin!
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