My iPod is definitely getting a workout since I decided to cancel my cable service over a month ago! I just snap it onto the iPod dock on my stereo and let it shuffle through my favorites. The song striking my fancy the past couple of days? Here's the lyric:
"You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird."
I must admit that I've been feeling a lot like an "empty cage" lately. I have been spending way too much time bouncing back and forth in my mind, looking for the answers to any number of problems that I am facing today. If I could just think hard enough and long enough, I am sure that I would be able to figure out why my GI system is not cooperating. I could figure out why there seems to be a little "snafu" with regards to my ankle healing after surgery, especially since from an orthopedic standpoint, I was doing better than expected. I could figure out why I am having difficulty with some of my interpersonal relationships. I think I should be able to figure out why, why, why. I mean, why not?
Why not? Because I am looking in the wrong place for answers. I could spend the rest of my life driving myself crazy with thinking and more thinking. I keep forgetting that I will get exactly what I need from God, if I allow Him to be in charge of my life. I wish that I could say that I am very dedicated to regular prayer and meditation. I'm not. I get busy with my day, the time flies by, and I'm too tired at night. What? Those aren't good excuses? No, they are not. I am finding that I need to make a more conscientious effort to incorporate prayer into my daily routine. A couple of things I have learned are that I can engage in prayer any time of the day, anywhere I am. And I have learned that time spent in prayer and quiet reflection (where I am listening to God, rather than talking at God) leaves me with a sense of inner peace and calm. I do not really need to have all of the answers. I just want them sometimes. If I keep spinning my wheels over things that I have no control over, I end up feeling very empty and alone. If I want my cage to be full of life, I need to allow God's spirit and the love of those around me to feed my bird...
The song? "Crucify" - Tori Amos, album "These Little Earthquakes"